On our way....

Well, Ben and I left home yesterday morning. Our plan was to leave around 9:00am, but we actually didn’t get on the road until closer to 9:30. After a few quick errands around town, we officially hit the road at 10:20am. We were glad to not be too far behind schedule, and we had a couple of stops we wanted to make on our way to the first hotel stop of the trip.

Aside from hitting a brief stint of traffic near Ann Arbor, we had beautiful weather and great traffic the entire day. We also got to see a lot of incredible sights on the road. While in Ohio, we did a quick side trip to Geauga Lake. It was kind of a sentimental trip, since our first trip together, ever, was to Geauga Lake. We just simply drove by, but it was interesting to see how much things have changed in 12 years.


Once we got out of Ohio, we reached Pennsylvania. Together, we have never been to Pennsylvania, and we had plans to visit Gravity Hill in Bedford, PA. This was pretty interesting as well, as we just put the car in neutral, and seriously the car seemed to roll uphill. The drive was absolutely beautiful through the mountains of Pennsylvania. There were some houses tucked up on some of the hills that were just amazing.


We also got to experience the mountains. We are using my husband’s laptop as our GPS, and on it is the altitude at which we were at that time. I would watch the altitude go from 400ft to over 2000ft in a span of 10-20 minutes. Then, I would watch it drop back down to 700ft or so, then back up. It was interesting – and our ears were popping like crazy. Some of the views however were great!


Today, we are on the road again. We left the hotel in Hancock, Maryland at 9:30am and were only about 100 miles out of Washington. More to come on the 2^nd day of the trip!

Unproductive

Or at least it seems....

I don't think I will ever understand how one can be so busy, and yet never feel like anything is getting accomplished.  I am that person these days.  Between everything going on at home, my hubby has been working like a madman.  Then, to top it off, I myself am busy at work, but leave each day as though I have gotten nothing accomplished.

To top it all off, we leave in just 2 days for a trip to Washington, D.C. (yes, we will be there over the 4th of July).  Yet there seems to be so much left to do before we go (laundry, shopping, etc.) that we are trying to figure out how to fit it all in!  I guess it just goes to prove that we both need this vacation - BADLY!  

It will be so nice to be off work for a few days, traveling with my husband, and enjoying the sights of Washington.  Anyone ever been before and can offer any suggestions on must sees?  We plan to do the normal touristy stuff, but love to take suggestions from others who have been there.  

Overall, I think the break will provide us the opportunity to rejuvenate and hopefully we can both come back feeling like we may be able to accomplish something.  Check back often for pics from our trip, as I will try to update this blog while we are on the road!  

God's Unending Grace

A flowers petals shining bright

A yellow core enclosed by white
God is smiling down on us
And so in Him we must trust

These pictures are the proof we need
To show He’s here in word and deed
I felt the need to share with you
These flowers from my garden true

I had some help, and I’m very glad
For my sister-in-law and my dad
They helped me plant all these last year
And now the flowers give me cheer

They show me that regardless of things

God has blessings He always brings
In times when He feels it is right
And so with Him, I’ll be alright

Enjoy the pics of all the flowers
It seems I’ve stared at them for hours
They bring a smile to my face
As I enjoy God’s unending grace

Test Results

This post will be fairly brief, but I know that I owe it to everyone reading my blog. This past week has not been a good one for me, as I obviously anxiously awaited Friday's pregnancy test. On Tuesday, however, I started to not feel too good, causing me to worry a little bit. By Wednesday, it was worse, so I called the doctor. They offered to let me come in a day early for my test, just so that I could stop worrying.

Just as we expected, the test result came back negative. We have both been able to take the news in stride, and found all the good to come out of this result. The experience has brought both of us together, not only physically and emotionally, but spiritually. We have also realized that this experience has allowed the doctors to understand the medicine better - so that next time it is a little bit easier. Ultimately, it all is working out pretty well and now we just look forward to the next step.

For everyone who reads, and is such a huge support in my life, I just want to say THANK YOU for all the prayers. Please don't give up, as we do plan to try again - we just don't know when. As much as was spent on the pursuit of my college degree, I will not give up on my dream of being a mother - regardless of how we end up doing that.

And now we wait...

As I stated in my last post, this IVF process officially started on the Tuesday after Memorial Day. As a part of the process, I was required to go to the doctor's office every couple of days for blood work and an ultrasound. The blood work was to monitor how well my body was taking to the hormone injections, and the ultrasound was simply to see how my body was progressing in the process. Each time I went to the doc, I would be contacted in the afternoon with my instructions for the next few days (take this medicine at this dose, take this med at this time, etc.). This went on for just about two weeks.

On June 6, 2008, I went in for my routine blood work and ultrasound. That afternoon, I got the call I had been waiting for: it was time. That evening, my husband had to give me the mother of all shots (and he did an AWESOME job)! This medicine has to be given at a precise time as it usually corresponds to the schedule of the operating room. June 6th was a Friday - which meant that I was to have surgery (for the egg retrieval) on Sunday, June 8th.

Although it was a rough day for me, the surgery was a success. The doctor's were able to retrieve 17 total eggs of which only 16 were mature. The office would call the next day with the number that actually fertilized, which ended up being 13. Their plan was to transfer some of the embryos back on June 13 - weird how the number 13 keeps popping!

Everything went pretty well that week. On Friday, we showed up at the doctor's office where we found out that most of the 13 were still doing pretty well. Based on my chances and the health of the embryos, they decided to transfer 2 of the best looking ones. Success rates are becoming better with IVF, so they try not to transfer more than they believe is necessary. They then told me that two weeks later, I would go back from my pregnancy test. TWO WEEKS!

While I wait, I still have to blood work done every couple of days. They only call if there is an adjustment to be made in the medicines, but that I am not supposed to panic. You ever tried to not panic when someone tells you not to??? My first blood work, I was called. I wasn't too concerned about it, they just started me on some new medicine. It actually helped me to feel better, so I accepted it. Last Friday, I didn't get a call after my blood work - Yeah! Everything is good!! Today, however, they called again. Seems that I have a hormone level that is dropping - and that I should not panic! I should just take some more medicine and wait until Friday. Yep, this Friday is my pregnancy test - scary indeed.

You know, I waited for so long for a dream to come true, and now here it is just around the corner, and I am scared to death! I worry, a lot! Am I truly ready to be mother? Are we ready to be parents? What will happen if the test is negative? Can I/we handle news like that? I'm trying to stay positive, yet sometimes that truly is hard to do. Waiting is not fun - but Friday is only 4 days away (that is 10 less than it was when they first transferred the embryos back, so I guess that is a good sign)!

Decisions - May 22, 2008

The last time I posted about the IVF process that my husband and I were going through, we had just found out about the study that was offered. We had decided to give it a try, so the doctor immediately put me on some meds in order to initiate a menstrual cycle, since I couldn't have them on my own. Now, I've been on Provera many times before, so I knew what to expect. What I was worried about was that I would be put on birth control pills as soon as I started this cycle (seems a little strange to be put on birth control when you are trying to have a baby, huh?). As soon as the cycle started, I was to contact the office to schedule a time for a "class" that my husband and I both had to take. The class was scheduled for May 22, 2008.

This class provided a brief overview of the procedure (there were six other couples in the class, and not all of them were there for IVF) and taught us about the medicine that the women would be taking. We got binders with a lot of information in it, including the individualized plan for us. We were then whisked away as a couple into an exam room, where I had to give myself a shot (yes, with a needle) of saline. Since most of the medicine that I would be taking had to be given through a needle, we each had to get over our fear of needles and learn how to do this. Ben also had to learn how to give me a shot since this one was one that I could not reach. We then got to ask any questions that we may have and move on from there.

As we left the office that day, Ben and I had many, many decisions to make. Within the binder that we received in our class, were consent forms. Most of them were harmless: Do we approve another doctor stepping in to take over the procedure if our primary was not available? Do we understand the risks associated with this procedure? Some of them were a little more thought provoking. For example, we had to decide if we wanted to participate in ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection), where the sperm is injected directly into the egg to ensure fertilization. There are a few risks associated with that, of which we had to decide whether we wanted to be involved with. Another thing that we had to consider was Assisted Hatching, again with more and different risks.

Probably the most highly discussed decision for us to make was the Selective Reduction decision. Since the human body is not made to carry more than one child, the doctor prefers to not have his/her patients becoming pregnant with more than 3 (twins have a better chance than triplets or higher). Therefore, we had to decide that if the case were to arise that I were to become pregnant with 3 or more babies, would we want to eliminate some of them. Now, our belief is that if we get pregnant with more than 2 babies, then God's will is that we have more than 2 children. This was pretty much a no brainer. However, the hard part came in that we don't ever want to risk the health of the babies or of me if this situation arises. We prayed long and hard about this, and discussed it amongst ourselves, before making our decision.

See the problem that I have with all of this, and I am learning to accept, is that God has a plan for me - and if that means that I am not to be a mother because I am unable to get pregnant in the manner that He intended, then so be it. However, I had it explained to me once that science would not exist without God's hand leading the scientists to these discoveries. Plus, there are many women in the Bible who were infertile, yet eventually had children. Although I will sometimes still struggle with the fact that we have decided to take the scientific route, I have accepted it all as a part of God's plan for me. All of that being said, the selective reduction, to me, seemed as though it was too much interference into God's plan - after all, if He intends for me to have 8 children, then I will have 8 children.

With these decisions made and the consent forms signed (Thanks Barb!!), my first appointment for this process started the Tuesday after Memorial Day. I have to say that in the 5 days between our class and my first appointment, my husband and I talked more about kids and each other's future than I think we ever have. It made me realize, yet again, how lucky I am to have a guy like Ben in my life. We talk a lot, but sometimes not the heart-to-hearts that many women desire of their man. I know that it made Ben uncomfortable at times, but he proved to me how mature we, as a couple, have become. He is no longer the 20-year old boy that I fell in love with, he is the 32-year-old man that is my soulmate and best friend. We have such a deep love and mutual respect for each other today. I love you honey, and thank you for being you!

For Carrie...

My sister-in-law Carrie absolutely is in love with one of my cats, Mikey. In July of last year, she and my (twin) brother, Lance, moved from Michigan to North Carolina. While they made it back here for Christmas, we haven't seen them since, and Carrie hasn't been able to see her beloved Mikey.

Therefore, as I spoke with her tonight, I was telling her about Mikey's recent trip to the vet's office. You have to understand Mikey. We have tried since he was about one to get him to lose weight, but he just doesn't seem to want to. He doesn't eat that much, and is somewhat active, but for whatever reason, he is just a very large cat. The recent vet's visit surprised even the girls at the counter - he weighed a healthy 29.5 pounds!

I promised Carrie I would share some pictures so that she could see Mikey again, so here you go Carrie:

Here is Mikey doing what he loves to do!

Here is our other cat, Stormy, who is a little more "normal"

Here is the two of them - so you can see the size difference!