Study Break - April 3, 2008

Invitrofertilization. A big word for a big process with very small members!

The letter that we got from the doctors at IVF Michigan in Flint indicated that Ben and I would be good candidates for a study for this process. Being the worry wort that I am, I wasn't too sure about the study - after all, do I really want my body to be a lab rat?

Come to find out, however, that the study was for women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) (which I happen to also have). The study would perform an IVF procedure and see how the patient would respond to the medicine. The study was to determine if one of the drugs given would be better started on day 1 or day 5 of the cycle. It was a totally random study that we would be placed into after our particular cycle started. But, the bonus part was that the cost of the procedure came at a reduced cost - which would allow us to possibly attempt two cycles of IVF if we wanted (due to insurance coverage).

While it still scared me to have to take this particular route with this pursuit of the dream, we had long ago decided that we wanted to exhaust every possibility of having kids ourselves before pursuing adoption. Therefore, we signed up for it and decided to give the whole thing a try. This decision was made on April 3, 2008, exactly one week and one day after I graduated (unofficially) from college!

Journey to the Pursuit of a Dream...

As I had started in my last blog, there are some interesting things happening in my life right now. In order to understand the impact of it all, I have to provide just a little bit more of a background so that the story makes a little more sense:

Since we had been so unsuccessful at being able to have kids “naturally”, my hubby and I started to see specialist after specialist. Life would, at times, get in the way, and we would lose our focus. Each new specialist we went to would have a different idea or thought - and it was very frustrating to have the same tests being run over and over again. We kept getting referred to a particular specialist, but he did not take our insurance. Finally, in 2006, we reviewed my husband's medical benefits a little closer, and found that if we just paid a little bit higher premiums, we would have our choice of doctor's - including this particular specialist.

In January 2007, my first appointment with this specialist happened. Again, the same flurry of tests and different diagnoses. I was frustrated, beyond belief! Unfortunately, I took it out on the doctor, which didn't help matters much. We got things worked out and he suggested a quick surgery to fix what he believed to be a septate uterus. The surgery was scheduled for July 2007. Aside from some minor discomfort, the surgery appeared to be a success. However, after my initial visit back to the doc in August to remove the stitches, I didn't go back to him at all (again, life got in the way).

But, God has a plan - that is what I keep saying - and He gave me a huge push into the right direction. In March 2008, I received a letter from the doctor's office stating that they believed I would be a good fit for a medical study that the office had just gotten approved for. After some brief discussion, we agreed it was a good time - why not give it a shot? In April, we had an appointment with the doctor who described the study, as well as our particular chances. We decided at that point that the time may not be absolutely perfect, but we had to give it a shot!

Check back tomorrow for the details of the study, as well as the continuing process that Ben and I are going through.

New Dreams

Now that graduation is over, I get to start in on the real reason for me starting this blog in the first place. Over the next few weeks, I will begin telling a story about things going on in our lives - dreams that we are beginning to pursue. To just be fairly brief with an introduction, allow me to give just some brief background into my life.

I am 32 years old and have been married for nearly 10 years. I love my husband to death - he means the world to me. However, I can honestly say that our marriage didn't exactly start out the greatest. But, we learned how to deal with each other and become the best of friends. **A short comment here: Marriage is not easy!** We vowed from the beginning that we would stick through everything, no matter what.

I dreamt, all through high school, of being a mother. I had the plan: married by 22, first kid by 25, with the second 2 years later. Well, the first part of the plan came true. I was officially married almost 6 weeks before my 23rd birthday. By the time I turned 24, I knew that we had to get started on having kids - after all, the plan was to have the first one by age 25. Well, things didn't happen as I had planned. No matter what, things didn't seem to work and 25, 26, 27 all flew by. I started to realize that I would never have kids - after all, don't you stop trying after age 30?!?

Today, we are both 32 years old, and still trying to have our own children. I've realized that while age will sometimes play a little bit of a factor, it is not something that should ever hold people back from there dreams of parenthood. After all, God has a plan for all of us.

Graduation!

Well, it is finally over! I remember back 14 years ago when I graduated from high school, I was worried about the life ahead of me. I was so unsure of what I wanted to do, or be. Life was a little hectic for me back then and without making too many excuses, allowed me to not take pride in what I was doing outside of high school. I couldn't care at all about school work, or much of anything, and it started to show.

Then, however, I found my (now) husband and things changed. He helped me to refocus on the important things - on what I wanted out of life. I dropped out of school, began working and planning a wedding and getting my life back on track. Today, I can honestly say that I am happy with the way things have turned out and that I can be satisfied in the hard work that I put into my college education. Although it took me 10 years longer than it should have, I know that the time and money spent is wonderful! And, the accomplishment of a dream that I never thought would happen is an absolutely incredible feeling!

Yesterday, I got to celebrate with (almost) all my family and friends. Those people who supported me even when the times got tough. It is a blessing to have such great people in my life who mean more to me than anything else. We were all blessed to have wonderful weather for the day as well, so that made it even more fun! I felt a little weird going into the day because not many college graduates have open houses - but I knew that those people who pushed me and supported me needed to be appreciated for all that they had done!

Thank you all for everything and for always being there! I am very, very lucky to have you all in my life!

Housework

This weekend, I got to spend it pretty much alone. Ben decided to go and spend some quality time with his parents, especially since his mother had surgery last Tuesday. He was able to help his dad get some work done around the house/yard up there and I know he enjoyed it.

Does anyone else just get in the mood to clean? Most of you who are reading this know that Ben and I are not the merriest of maids with our house. Lately, it seems to have gotten a lot worse. But for some reason, this weekend, I got into a mood to do some thorough cleaning of our house. Amazingly, I didn't spend a lot of time either day (Saturday or Sunday), but I go through my house right now and I so happy to have it presentable. I don't have to be embarrassed any more to have someone who has just dropped by come in and visit for a while. Now the real question most of you are asking (I know I ask it myself many times): how long can we keep it this way?

After a long week of work, it felt good to have the weekend to myself, watching some girly movies, and cleaning the house. Can't wait for Ben to come home and see it! Hope you all had a good weekend!

April Showers Bring May Flowers

I am so happy to say that for my first year trying it, I have successfully not killed any of the plants that my father and sister-in-law helped me plant last year! In fact, there are many flowers that have already bloomed and my flower bed looks beautiful. I have to thank my dad and Carrie for all the help last year with it and I can't wait to try some more. Enjoy these few pictures of the flowers already bloomed:

A beautiful iris....

All my leopard's bane....

My entire flower bed...

I love the spring time!

Sentimental

At the end of May 1999, my husband and I moved into our house (in it's current location). When we first found the property, it was perfect. There was a beautiful "little" pine tree in the back yard that was the only thing we made sure the contractor did not upset. Since that time, we have enjoyed this tree and how much it brings to the back yard. The only thing that I really didn't like about the tree was the fact that it was hard to mow around. But, it was perfect....and ours.

A few years ago, as with many Michigan winters, we got a really heavy, wet snow fall. While the snow was beautiful as it hung on the trees, it had bent our little pine tree over and we were afraid we would lose it. However, the tree bounced back after the snow thawed, although it gave the tree a permanent "S" shaped trunk. Since that year, we have watched as the winters have been hard on the tree, but it was pretty much always able to bounce back pretty nicely.

Unfortunately, however, the tree didn't make it this winter. During a particularly heavy snow fall, we lost two rather large branches from the tree which left too many big holes. After a fairly tough decision, we decided we better just cut it down. It was a tough decision, and one that I regretted briefly as the tree fell tonight. I actually started to cry even...

Now, some of you are reading this and wondering why I am so attached to a tree. Well, here is my reason: We fought for that tree so that it would be a part of what our lives and would symbolize our growth together. Although already a fairly mature tree, the fact that it would grow with us and our family was an important thing to me. Remember in elementary school you were always given a pine tree on Earth Day or something? It was much the same thing for us when we found this property.

So, I leave you with a picture of the tree before (from a couple of years ago)...


...and after....